


la douleur exquise

by kaokoko



Category: ensemble stars!!
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, also mika's a 3rd year, there are probably others but i dunno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23467195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaokoko/pseuds/kaokoko
Summary: la douleur exquise(n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting affection from someone unattainable
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika
Kudos: 21





	la douleur exquise

**Author's Note:**

> i. this is so stupid but i just, needed to get it out of my system.  
> this wasn't proofread, checked, or anything. just, take it.

hanahaki disease.  
mika had heard of it before, vaguely mentioned in the thumbed paperback copies of certain anthologies shu had kept in his library, that mika would always somehow end himself up reading, on winter nights when his pining grew overly ignited.

he never thought that he himself, would catch it.

he first discovered he had it in class, shyly peering down at the floor to hide his extremely apparent blushing.  
he knew he was sick, or something like that. he would end up visiting the infirmary at least 3 times a day, complaining about a scratchy throat, and worrying about how his singing would be affected. anyways, his throat and lungs had been acting up again, like someone had popped them like little kids popping balloon animals on summer festivals.  
and then it was there.  
a lone camellia petal, wistfully flying only to touch the wooden floor.  
it was painful. it had basically mocked mika on his feelings, mocked him on his painful pining and lone holdings.  
the coughing and petals had continued, until it was overly obvious that mika had been coughing them up. covered in blood, wrapped in misery.  
at this point everyone had been looking at him, they might as well have been pointing and laughing. but who knows.  
and he fainted.

he found himself awake again in the infirmary, with jin at his side, the petals on a chair left aside.

'kagehira.'

mika's world had lept open immediately, to find himself on the bed. his lungs still jabbing painfully.

'kagehira. i'm gonna assume you already know what's happening right now.'

'y-yeah... wait, doesn't it mean i'm supposed ta' stay home??'

'basically, yeah. you'll be on leave for another 2 weeks until we can figure something out.'

'isn't there somethin ya can do ta atleast... stop it??'

jin drawled out 'well.... you can get surgery to remove the seeds. but that almost never turns out ok, plus, all the memories of the person yo fell for, would be wiped out'

oh no.

he didn't want his oshi-san to worry. to find himself panicking having to run to every drug store to get something for him  
but what god would it do, anyways?  
even with his intense pining, the pain, the burdens, he knew.  
he knew he was only a smudge on the board for shu. that his feelings would never be collected or returned.  
the best that could happen was the idea of him waking up and knowing that someone, somebody out there, would be taking care of oshi-san  
of holding him.  
of 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 him.  
he could feel happy at the idea of someone giving shu the love and attention he had once served on a silver plate to shu.  
for now, he could only hope.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream at me or something on twt: ryuseipurple


End file.
